i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
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