and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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