Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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