He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
