He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
