What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
