i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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