Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
