There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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