I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
We don't watch enough power rangers
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
