hotel room ftw
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
