I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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