i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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