she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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