It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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