he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
