Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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