I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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