dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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