I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
