i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
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