end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
