my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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