This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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