he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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