I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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