The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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