Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
