Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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