I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
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