a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
