guys are only as good as the porn they watch
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
