And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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