Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
