The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm both gender and math confused
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize