yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
