There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
