Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
