Duck Duck Cougar?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
