Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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