Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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