He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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