I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
