and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
