Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Someone signed my nipple.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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