Those balls look pretty dangerous.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
