WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
