I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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