im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
