Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
