If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
should my penis look like a turkey
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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