he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
