remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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