This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
