Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
