You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
