I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
