I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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