After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
He kissed a someone with a penis
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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