Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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