Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
