But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
At least make sure they are 18
Why
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
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