she was so not down for the gang bang
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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